How did I meet the man of my dreams, the love of my life, my soul mate you ask. I’m sure many of you can guess. Drum roll please….. …. I met him on….. The Internet! I realize that many people have worried about me moving to Morocco for a guy that I’ve met only over the internet. Fact is, what did I have to lose? I certainly didn’t have anything keeping me in the United States. No family really, just my mother who lived 23 hours away from me by car and a whole day of airplane travel. She and I managed to see each other on occasion and well it amounted to about once a year or even less at times. During the last 9 years I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico and she lives in Louisville, Kentucky that’s 1200 miles apart. We lost my father to cancer in June of 2014 and since then neither myself or my mother have been the same. It’s amazing how death changes people. You tend to re-evaluate everything in your life because you are having to live without someone whom you loved very much. It certainly took it’s tole on me and my mother, so much so that we didn’t talk for a long while. We had tremendous distance between us and then our phone contact ended for a while right after he died. I felt like I had lost both parents at the time and still to this day things haven’t been the same between me and my mother. After a while our daily talks have resumed but the conversations are very different since daddy’s been gone.
I don’t know if it was widely known that I had not had not been in a relationship really since 2006 when I left my ex-husband. I divorced Tim in 2007 but little did I know at the time he had moved on and met his future wife to be at the time. It didn’t matter to me because I had moved on as well just in a different direction so there was no hard feelings. I moved to Albuquerque and started a new life. I have to say it was the best thing I had ever done. I had a new found independence and life which I took full advantage of. I partied my ass off for many years, built a house on the west mesa but always had a hard time keeping a job. the workforce in Albuquerque is not good now but was really difficult during the 2008 recession or depression as I’d like to call it. Some economies in other cities rebounded over time but in Albuquerque it really didn’t. Over the course of many years all of my partying friends had met someone and eventually got married or they had children and they were doing married with kids life. Everyone always seemed to have a boyfriend and I always wondered why someone didn’t introduce me to someone. The guys I did have in my life never stuck around probably because after being alone for many years I developed a crazy side. Hey wait I have always been crazy but this was a lonely kind of crazy so I took to social media to have some companionship. I did find a couple of men locally that would have been perfect for me but either it was they had just gotten out of a divorce, had a girlfriend, on and off, or were married with children looking for a fling. A couple of other guys I met were great but again it wasn’t good timing for them. There were health issues with one of my friends who I loved and the other one couldn’t stop smoking weed long enough to settle down. Then I met some really great guy friends that I loved to spend time with just as friends, two of them turned out to be room mates of mine. No they were not friends with benefits in case your asking yourself at this point.. LOL. I had to throw that in. Anyway nothing worked out, nothing. Most of the guys I met couldn’t afford to take me to McDonalds $1 menu let alone settle down and have a family. Nor did many of them want to because of nasty divorces and baby mommas. So for my companionship I had a few friends that I’d come home from work and talk to. I had a variety of friends that I got to know around the world from Pakistan, Morocco, Germany, Italy, Barbados, India, Tunisia, France, the UK, Lebanon, and Australia. Ultimately, most and I stress most of them, all wanted sex and I wasn’t about that so I met a lot of people to find my prince charming.
One of my best friends was Hassan Benjadi from Casablanca Morocco, I named my cat after him. He was much younger than me but we had a great friendship stemming back 8 years now. Also I met Assif who was from Pakistan, he had wonderful English and worked in a call center. Both of these guys eventually got girlfriends and got married but we still talked. I met Bihi Desert man, Abraham was his name, he was from Morocco however he was looking for a way out, charming guy, great friend. I was sad to learn in October that he lost his life to a tragic accident. I finally met someone in the US in New Jersey and really thought I was in love. I went to visit with him and had a wonderful time. But when I got home I found out he had bought his ex wife a Christmas present and a birthday present, then spent some time with her on her birthday and after that I ended it. I couldn’t be done like that hell! So in all honesty we weren’t suited for one another in many ways but my trip to New York was a blast so I thank him for that.
I guess I had been working at the petroleum company for a year and a half and I got a message one night from a guy in Morocco. I didn’t pay too much attention to this because many men from Morocco wrote me and well to be honest there are warnings all over warning women of the scams from Moroccan men. Many of them want to marry a woman from the US so they can get a green card. I just know that you will find this in any country really not just Morocco. One warning for all the single ladies out there wanting to meet someone… watch out for the Turkish men, the Saudi men, the men from the UAE, they are nasty men.. just down right nasty. They have a lot of money and aren’t afraid to try to buy you so be careful, they can ruin your life. I’ve read a few things since I’ve been here in Morocco, we get the news from Dubai, it’s shocking about how the men extort money from familes of women over the internet. Please be careful with any internet dating. So back to my message, it was from Mbarek. So I had about 150 messages a day and didn’t really read most of them but something struck me about his profile. I was on a site called Tagged. Tagged was a social media site when I first signed up but over the years it became a meeting site for singles. Whatever works right? Mbarek and I messaged each other for about a month and what I noticed is that he was very sweet. VERY VERY SWEET! You could tell there was something behind how nice he was. He was respectful and just very down to earth there was nothing pressing about his words and letters. Our conversation just flowed. I remember one week where I didn’t hear from him and then finally he wrote me and I just was upset because I enjoyed speaking to him. Finally one night I asked him if he’d like to skype and he said, “If you are ready then yes but I don’t want to pressure you to Skype”. I thought how sweet. So we skyped the first time and all I remember is hearing his voice, seeing his face and smile and discovering that he was really as intelligent as he was while writing just blew me away. He could hold conversations with me as if we were right there and it wasn’t an empty conversation. We talked about history, world events, books, movies, music, fashion, religion, food, animals, just everything. I remember spending hours with him just chatting. At the time I worked every day and he would stay up all night talking to me when I got home from work. We had a 7 hour time difference so he must have liked me a lot. Things were going great I was happy.
Then on Monday April 19, 2015 I went to work and received the tragic news. My best friend and co-worker Bob Mesch had committed suicide taking his own life the day before. I was devastated. it was about an hour after the news that I decided my life was going to change. Life was too short to be alone and live without love. I wanted the love my mother and dad had for 43 years and I was going to find it. Bob and I had shared the same condition, major depression and had seen doctors and doctors, been on medications and medications and nothing was working. Depression had ruined our lives and was ruling our lives. I know I’ve contemplated suicide several times and just wondered how close I had to get to doing it before I actually killed myself. Could a person finally do it after living in hell. How much hell does one endure, I asked. Bob and I had many discussions about our depression and I could see him getting worse I knew it and I spoke up but I did all I could do. I still lost him. I went home that night and talked to Mbarek all night long. he must have loved me then because to put up with my drunk ass that night was not fun I’m sure.
10 days after Bob took his life Mbarek asked me to marry him. He said, “I want to ask you to marry me because I love you, but I know you won’t”. I replied, “Just ask me”. He asked, “Will you marry me?” and I said YES YES YES! I bet he didn’t think that the end result would be me being here in Morocco today and his whole life changing in 8 months. So in the following days we began planning our life. He volunteered to come to the US but he asked me if I’d like to come to live with him and his family in Morocco. I decided that I’d move anywhere to be with him even if it was on an iceberg in the Antartic. As long as I was with him I could do this life. So I told him I’d move to Khemisset because his life was there and it made sense, plus I wanted to see the world. The time spent getting here was the hardest of my life and I remember there was one time I just didn’t know if I was going to make it. Having happiness with the person you love in the future when you are dying inside from depression seems impossible to reach. The roadblocks started to appear one right after another. I was behind 3 payments on my house, when I went to pay it up they had already filed foreclosure papers on me and wouldn’t take my money. So literally I did everything I could to just make it in my house till the end of the year. I had no idea when they were going to come and set me out, then where was I going to go. So I filed bankruptcy to prolong the foreclosure and buy me some time. The airline wouldn’t let me bring all of my animals so I was going to have to part with them and find them homes. I lost my job because I had become a Muslim and had the Quran on my desk. I didn’t get my unemployment because I couldn’t prove that’s why they fired me but the EEOC believed me. I’m still battling that one. I had a part time job but they only were working me 10 hours a week, no one can make it on that. I didn’t have anything but my plane ticket paid for and was trying to save money. After 2 months of working this petty part time job I finally found a $9.00 an hour job that gave me 40 hours a week. My mom came and got my dogs, I sold everything I owned. Having people come to your house to take things was hard because they didn’t want to take things and I just wanted them gone. People fell through on buying things from me and to tell the truth I was catatonic for a while. I was deeply concerned for myself as was Mbarek. It was early November and I remember not knowing how I was gonna make it another day. Finally at the end December I had enough money so I quit my job 2 days early and said the hell with it I’m done. The last roadblock I had was a snow storm that hit New Mexico on Christmas. I had to leave for Denver two days early and stay in a hotel to ensure I would get to the airport because my life, literally, depended on boarding this plane. To tell you the truth I was never so happy to leave Albuquerque. Leaving has saved my life. Even if I didn’t have the money I had planned on having I still had my life. Losing my job really put a damper on the house we were going to build on the farm, it was going to be paid for had I worked my job through the end of the year. I just kept praying Allah would see me through this.. and he did. Alhamdulillah!
So the man who you all are getting to know is Mbarek Harcharas. He is 40 years old and has never been married nor does he have any children. He has a store where he works on electronics and just about anything that you give him he can fix. He loves to toy around with things and make them work. He grew up just like many of us in the 80’s with teen crushes on celebrities, rap music, parties where you get wasted, smoking cigarettes and maybe a little hash. He was a bad boy so to say.. raising hell with the boys just like us in the states. He grew up on a farm just west of Meknes in a small village near the mountain town of El Hajeb. He was one of 7 children, his mother, Zarhe, took care of the children and the farm and his father Mohammed was in the Moroccan Military. When Mbarek was young they moved to Khemisset where we live now. He is tall and thin, momma says that he would have had a career in basketball if he lived in Kentucky, but don’t they all say that. He’s 6ft 4 or 5 and studied kickboxing for 9 years in his teenage years. He lost his father to health difficulties after a stroke in 1992. He and his brother Mohammed were the men of the family because at that time they were the only males left. The family lost 3 children. Two of them died early on and then the last sibling passed a few years back her name was Malika, she was 33 and a genius at needlepoint. She spent most of her life in a wheelchair but that didn’t stop her from being creative you should see the work she’s done it’s beautiful. I will share that in another post.
My life here is very different than in the states. I have to say every day I wake up I praise God for my life. Being without him would be like being without air to breath. I often times tell him he saved my life. I think God put him in my life just in time not one minute too late. So below are some photos of my Mbarek. We are going to wait to have our wedding because my mother has decided in the last few days that she want’s to visit this year. We are going to wait for her to come. There is nothing in the world I want more than to have my mother at my wedding. For those of you who wonder what she thinks about this…. She loves him and spends time talking to him every evening. She is thrilled that I’m happy and realizes that I didn’t move to the moon. She’s just a plane ride away. She was talking to Mbarek the other night about where she will stay when she comes and the things we will do. She expected that I would leave New Mexico and not go back to Kentucky. She expected one day I’d leave the United States so she wasn’t as shocked like many of you were. Ok so enjoy the photos!