Good morning world. I realize it’s been a while since I last wrote and I’m going to have to change that as of now. So finally we are married and I’m still adjusting to my living situation. Yesterday I have to say was a really bad day. Why? I just felt suffocated for some reason, not by my husband or anyone really but by me. See the thing about depression and being bi polar is that these things never go away they just get better. I have to say though for the past couple of months I’ve been doing very well mentally. So I finally decided that it’s time I get out and explore my new home all on my own. Mbarek would rather keep me home and safe but I am getting restless. I’ve worked it all up in my mind that because I can’t talk to people that I need to stay home until I can communicate. Well BULLSHIT! I’m getting out. Mbarek is actually very happy about that but he is concerned that the way people drive here that I will get hit on my bike, lol. It’s totally a possibility but I’ll be fine. I think my own mind has gotten me to where I feel like I’m a little trapped. By no means am I though except in my head. Things are back to normal and he’s working at the store alot so I must do it on my own. Actually I’ve never known myself to not want to get out and go shopping. So I ask myself why scared? Actually I’m not so I will be out and about by myself today. I just have to watch the taxi’s because they are wild. Today it’s 60 something degrees so I’m gonna stick Butch in the basket and off we go with a little DJ Quik, Summer Breeze.
So we were out the other day and I found a little shop a “Girl Shop” where they sell makeup and things. There’s not a Walgreens or a CVS to stop in to shop for makeup. Oh by the way I saw mascara the other day just Maybelline mascara and it was $10. What a rip off. Things like makeup here are very expensive but that’s not gonna stop me. I found some really cheap eyeliner that is awesome and it’s waterproof for $1. You can’t beat that.
I’ve made some friends here like a pharmacist that is a US Citizen, he’s very cool. He lived in Virginia and now owns a Pharmacy here. It seems that most of the people I meet here who speak English are prominent members of society. I told him that it wouldn’t surprise me if we started to get invites to gatherings and dinners once people know that we are married. I’d really like that. Of course that is what I’m trying to explain to him about my mental issues is that I’m ok with many people, I leave somewhere and know everyone in the room. I’m not shy that’s for sure.
Last night I went outside and sat against our house listening to music and enjoying time. The next thing I knew the little boys in houses next to us were sneaking up on me to see what I was doing on my ipad. It wasn’t long they were sitting on each side of me and we were listening to music with my earphones and playing games. They were having fun and I loved it. I will have a soccer ball very soon and then play with them. The tomboy in me will eventually surface and it won’t be long. Give me a ball and we are on. These little guys are like 6-12 years old and they are so cute. I think they love my blonde hair. Maybe the like the fact that I smile at them all the time. Whatever it is I love the little ones. I had a little girl the other day run up to me put her arms around Butch and kiss him then the other little girl did the same. It was so cute. At first I think the people were wondering about me now they are learning that I’m very friendly and I like everyone. Afterall I’m just like them just a little more sparkly and colorful. It won’t hurt some around here to loosen up and smile a little bit. So after yesterday about freaking out from cabin fever I fixed it and today is just beautiful. I’ve been singing with my iphone this morning and it’s time for a shower then I’m gonna tear up the streets with my smile and get out and about.
yabtasim kathiranaan! (Smile much!)
Ciao till tomorrow.