After I wrote the long post which most of you will read today I found myself in bed all day yesterday sleeping. I slept and slept and slept. I think I needed it. I’ve been in a rather foul mood here recently but I think that’s because of a few things. I will say that one of them is not my husband. My animals have been testing my patience recently and they’ve been very demanding. They’ve also gone into retrograde with their potty training, well Butch has. He’s a little cutie but can also be a little monster. I have to remind myself that as with children and animals teaching them is a life long job. In fact some people require life long teaching. I feel I may be one of them. As an only child I am very selfish and am prone to temper tantrums like a spoiled little girl. I don’t know that at 42 I will ever out grow them, I think it’s too late. One of the greatest struggles I have is cohabiting with others. I love family and the concept of family but it’s been so long since I’ve really had any that I live with. This is one struggle that I just try to assimilate into my life and make the best of it until I can get use to it. What I try to think about when I’m out and see all of the animals on the streets is that they would love to have what I have. They would love to have a home. I think I take for granted everything I’ve been given here. I use the word given because I should be more appreciative of what my husband has literally GIVEN me. I want you all to know that writing and putting my life out here for everyone is great therapy for me. It helps me with my depression and my embedded selfish ways. I think to expose ones weaknesses not only helps the person but it can help others too. And let’s face it I don’t have anything else much to do. I suppose I could crochet or needle point, both of which I do, but this helps like that doesn’t.
So the animals on the streets here are everywhere. When I first got here I had to sit and have a talk with myself about how I am going to live here and be able to see homeless animals on the streets here. There are so so so many. I’m very lucky that my husband has a love for animals like I do. See he even took me in along with my two animals and gave us a home. Every time I walk Butch outside I see homeless animals. I see them laying in nooks and crannies, walking the streets going some where, see them looking for food, just see them doing their thing. Some people are very nice to them and some aren’t. When you go to the market here you see them around all of the food and the shop owners will scat them away. Most of them have learned to keep a distance hoping to catch a bit of food. In the cover photo of this entry I was buying some makeup and there happened to be a cat there so I picked it up and gave it a small dose of loving. I think the baby was very happy to be in my arms for it felt very safe for a few minutes. I really didn’t want to put it down. Even when I’m in the market I will give them some food. I think about what my husband tells me that most people here cannot afford to have meat on their tables so our animals are very lucky that they get their own hamburger or turkey stew. I started thinking about how lucky we are when we love something. How lucky each party is when love is involved. We all get something out of giving love and being loved. In a movie I was watching the other night astronauts where travelling to a different galaxy to save the earth and all of the humans on it. The one thing they devised that transcended anything was love.
I know I have unconditional love for God’s little creatures but I think what I need to work on is having love for all people and things in this world. Is is possible for us as humans to put our own thoughts aside to really love everyone? I don’t know that it’s possible to really do that for our instinct is to take care of ourselves. This is one thing that I personally need to work on.
I suppose this topic has come up because of what I’m seeing in my new place. I see much love in people and kindness. I see people scraping up pennies just to have vegetables to feed their families and I feel guilty eating my hamburger all while thinking that there is a family that doesn’t have electricity. The other day Mbarek brought a TV home and was working on it. I asked him how much he was going to make on this job and he said nothing. He went on to tell me that this TV belonged to a man who has 3 children and they don’t have electricity because they can’t afford it. The TV runs off of a car battery and that’s the reason that it blew the motherboard. Unfortunately Mbarek couldn’t fix the TV without a new board, which he didn’t have in all of the scrap he’s accumulated. Then the next morning I find myself saying to him, we really need a new coffee maker because this one has died. After giving this little exchange some thought I realized that we have a boil coffee maker in the other room. It only makes a small cup but it works. Why not use that.
The biggest change for me living here is that this place doesn’t just run out and get what they need. They make do with what they have, people and animals. I was out the other night and we were getting a chicken from the chicken store. You know pick the chicken and they weigh it then kill it right there. Anyway, I saw a few stray dogs, all of which were not starving let me say that. One dog was eating an onion or some kind of vegetable that was given to him by the cart owner who was selling produce. The animals here know their place and they don’t just steal food. It’s amazing people who have nothing still give to the meek. I appreciate that about life here. It’s like my new cat Mish Mish. She is just a stray cat and really only came in to see Mbarek while she ate and slept. Now since I’ve been here Mish Mish actually enjoys being home with me. She finds that roaming the streets is not what it use to be. She sleeps with me at night and she really is a sweet little girl. She can be a royal bitch at times hissing at everyone and yesterday she got in trouble for stealing my food but all in all she’s a sweet baby. I noticed that she had an uneven lip in the front and she drools. I asked Mbarek what happened to her and he said someone burned her mouth. When she came to him through the window she had a burned mouth and it’s gonna be like that forever. How sad! How SAD! It just goes to show there are mean people everywhere. Since Mish Mish has been around me and I give her love she stays around all the time.
I do feel bad that I can’t bring them all into my home but I will when I have my house on the farm. Until then I have to endure seeing them all on the streets. When I look at all the fighting I see going on in the US and all of the hatred there I just find some solace in seeing it here where everyone lives among each other in peace. Morocco is one of the most peaceful places. Now I’ve been down the street and people are fighting but they have their fist fights and get on with life. I’ve seen many little spats here in fact I was in the market taking these photos of the cats and there were some little boys following me. I was walking my bicycle through and one of them ran in front of me trying to trip me. Mbarek smacked him lightly in face, on the cheek. Some other men turned around when it happened and Mbarek told them what was going on. The man that I didn’t know grabbed the little boy by his ear and ordered him to go on somewhere. My face was in awe. I couldn’t imagine someone smacking my child. However I will say that if my child was acting up and doing something like that when I wasn’t around I would want the adults to make him mind. Evidently from what I learned is that these little boys are always terrorizing people in the market and they get more spankings and correction there than they do from their parents. FYI the little boys were in the market selling plastic grocery bags to make money when they should have been in school. Here it’s not illegal to not send your children to school. Parents don’t get in trouble for not sending them to school. Interesting huh?
Well I think it’s time to get in the shower and go to work with Mbarek when he comes home for lunch. Maybe he’ll bring something good home for lunch since I’ve been in a non cooking mode. I try to explain to the animals that fresh food is a luxury… actually the bags of food they have here is a luxury and well they won’t eat them because they don’t like the dog and cat food I give them. I know they appreciate me and love me though and that literally fills my heart with joy. I hope you all find your heart full of joy with the loved ones around you. Be thankful for every day and appreciate life, love, food, all of the gifts that God has GIVEN you because it’s too easy to be selfish and throw tantrums. Medication won’t help any of that only a change within yourself will remedy those things. Make sure you smile much and love much I believe that is the key to life.